Coaching allows us to accomplish some important things.  We will use this checklist to determine readiness for mediation.

  1. The parties have an understanding of the Gospel process and ground rules

    2.  The parties have a “measure” of confidence in the team and the process.  This means that you believe that we will be faithful to the agenda of glorifying God and using the Scriptures to guide you toward communicating with one another.

  2. The parties understand the basic peacemaking principles outlined in the pamphlet.
    – The values of conflict – to please God, to grow in serving and to become more like Jesus
    – The Four Gs.   God is to be first glorified.  We establish His agenda not our own
    Get the log out of your eye – each party must work on their own log.

The last two G’s reinforce the need to make it the goal to win a relationship not an agenda.
– The slippery slope – do you tend to escape or attack?  This is helpful in looking for biblical responses.
– Apologies and forgiveness – key to reconciliation is to have a clean slate.
4.  Each party has an opening statement – this is a statement that briefly explains initial desires of outcome (goals).
5.  Each party is prepared to share with and listen to the other with the intent of developing solutions.

Mediation meetings should involve at least a full day of meetings..  We would like to finish mediation at a reasonable pace so that you can be better prepared to work as a team on the challenges that lay ahead of you.

A reminder of the 4 steps:
1. Coaching – this is the step we are currently doing.  The above describes when we graduate to the next step.
2. Mediation – this step involves a good 6-8 hours of working through the GOSPEL process (see attached) and is done when you as a couple have a working document for your plan.
3.  Additional Coaching or Follow up – This covers items on your plan and/or discussing the accountability that you have established to help you work your plan.
4.  Ongoing Discipleship – the three previous steps are designed to prepare you for this step or stage.  This is where you are working your plan in your disciple making environment and creating new plans with your own projects.  You are in an accountability relationship (small group or mentoring) that is focused on the future not on the past.


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