“She is a good friend, but I just don’t know how to fix this conflict. I wonder if it is time to just walk away.” In today’s disposable society it sometimes doesn’t seem worth the effort to risk confronting a friend; after all they will only get defensive and that would ruin the friendship anyway. To avoid losing a friend or making a conflict worse consider a helpful tool that could give you another option. The PAUSE for PEACE principle provides you with some practical ideas on how to restore a relationship.
The A in PAUSE stand for “Affirm the Relationship.” Too often others assume that we don’t care about them when in reality that is one of the reasons that the drama hurts so much. Try putting aside the pain of the conflict and think through what you value in the relationship and make that the motivation for dealing with issues. If she knows you are really trying to fix the relationship rather than fix her, she will be less defensive.
The next time you have to bring up an issue be sure to communicate how important that friendship is to you. If we can help you work through a conflict please contact us.